things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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