Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Boobs are out for the taking
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
