I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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