So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Randomize
