Tell her she can't have a vagina
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize