I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Houston, we have a squirter
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
