I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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