I'm going to jail i love you
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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