i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
