"it" just moved
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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