babies were throwing up all over the place
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
