Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
