Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
