we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
