oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
