I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Actions speak louder than pants.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
