She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Houston, we have a squirter
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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