you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
