Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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