why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
