He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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