Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
