I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
