all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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