Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
