First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Life is so much better after having sex.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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