College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
