hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
