We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
