you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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