so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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