MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
