I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Im part way to drunk.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
