Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
