we have pet lesbian snakes
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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