Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
