the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
