i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
