What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
