You made me cry and you don't even care
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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