for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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