ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
high people should be assigned attendants
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
