Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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