just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
