bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
