her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
