My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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