I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
