I love having hate sex.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
