what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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