she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
