We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
